August 2012
1 tag
yggdrasilly:
Well excUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu se me
attractive person: i wish i was attracti-
me: get out
2 tags
1 tag
adamusprime:
i’m going to write erotica for very shy people
“s-should i take my shirt off?”
“oh, uh…no, no that’s fine…unless you really want to…”
“uh, do…you want me to?”
“well i mean…i dunno…”
It's crazy to think that in this very second right...
Watch500daysofsassy:
brooksoglesby:
so apparently some guy goes around golf tournaments and shouts “mashed potatoes” after they tee off
I CANTG BR EATHE
1 tag
Why can't rappers rap about nice things?
anna-mator:
demigodofmypants:
senzaspazi:
YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND
put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite
YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND
carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired
OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT
broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA
collection of politely...
malodevigny:
“oh nothing, just eating my feelings…” types the blogger as he chews on his nerve endings
Out of everyone, I chose you. And I still got hurt...
3 tags
thewooper:
Sis Puella Magica backwards I’m so...
3 tags
salo-mon:
whY DOES THE KYUUBEY SIT THERE LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING WHEN EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING?
7 tags
3 tags
8 tags
3 tags
countfrankula:
i don’t know why everyone makes the grim reaper out to be a bad guy i mean he’s just taking to you to the afterlife it’s not like he killed you it’s actually quite nice of him to walk you there imagine if you had to go alone
houselannister:
why isn’t doctor who back already this is unacceptable
Person: Theatre is stupid
Person: Musicals are gay
Me:
Person:
Me:
Police: So can you tell me what happened?
Me: He ran into my knife.
Me: He ran into my knife ten times.
Ensemble behind you: HE HAD IT COMIN'!
1 tag
selfinducedcomatose:
thebesthomestuck:
bowieisawizard:
thebesthomestuck:
I might as well start calling you tumblr, because you can’t take a joke
Actually, people on tumblr can take a joke. This isn’t that funny. And I find it mildly offensive.
are you serious
i caNT FUCKING BREATHE
2 tags
1 tag
cocon-ut:
You know what really turns me on?
Unprotected
wifi
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person is typing...
Person says: hi
straightwhiteman:
i dont like getting yelled at i literally stand there and burst into tears
Hardest question to answer:
Describe yourself:
chin-up-beautiful:
I wonder what it’s like to have someone fall for you. And I mean really fall for you. Not just they want to get in your pants because they think you’re attractive. But be consumed with every little piece of you. The way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you just exist. To everyone in love: you don’t know how lucky you are.
4 tags
dietchola:
you guys have been searching for years but it was me who let the dogs out all along
